Mufflers: Bubble Gum, Duct Tape and Aluminum Siding

How does one fix a muffler? Or more properly phrased, how does one put off fixing a muffler? Well, the first question, is what is a muffler? A muffler essentially muffles the engine. The internal combustion engine works through controlled explosions of air and gasoline which drives a piston up and down in a cylinder. The exhaust gases exit the cylinder, enter the exhaust manifold and go into the catalytic converter. Black magic ensues, as rare earth metals convert noxious chemicals into somewhat less noxious chemicals. But the gases are still very hot and the sound of the explosions still very loud. The muffler quiets this roar through a series of baffles, just like how home insulation reduces noise or how it’s easier to yell through a sheet than, err.. a pillow. The muffler not only keeps your car quiet, it also provides a certain amount of back pressure on the engine. If the exhaust escapes too readily, it can actually make the engine less efficient, throw off the sensors in your exhaust system and annoy your neighbors.

But as your auto gets on in years, the exhaust system is one of the first things to rust out. Your car gets slowly louder, until your muffler falls off on the cross Bronx expressway after you drive off a 12 inch wide expansion joint. Fortunately things on my Jeep are not so dire, but the muffler is certainly on its way out. I called a national chain muffler shop and they said it would be $350 to fix! With new mufflers available for $50 online, that estimate certainly seems exorbitant. But with the temperatures in the Northeast currently hovering around insanely cold, it’s not the best time of year for the do-it-yourselfer to be tackling this sort of project. So to forestall the inevitable decline of my muffler, I took to some old fashion MacGyver-esque jury rigging.
I’m sure the inside of my muffler is in tough shape, but my primary focus is the separating outer skin. I decided that an extra piece of aluminum siding, pounded flat on an anvil, would seal the hole relatively well, at least as a short term solution.

Don’t ask why my friend had this tool, but I was able to borrow a pallet strapping machine. This machine tightens and installs those black metal bands that secure cargo on pallets, go around furniture, and secure other large items for transport. It’s not as strong as a big hose clamp, but it will provide good holding power. Three bands and the aluminum siding wasn’t going anywhere.
The car was a little quieter, but at minimum the aluminum siding should keep the problem from getting worse until spring when I can do a proper repair. You don’t want exhaust escaping anywhere but at the back of the car, or it could enter the passenger compartment, which would not be a good situation for anyone inside, or anyone else on the road anywhere near you.